Going Solo

When I'm on my A-game, I am really good. I can make myself really appear attractive, smart, and funny. I can keep people on the edge of their seats with my wit and charm. It seems like I know all the right things to say and the right times to say them.

I'm very rarely on my A-game. In general, I have a tendency to be very socially awkward. I think of lots of things to say that sound really intelligent right up until the moment after I say them. Sometimes this makes me think I have to backtrack or apologize, which often only succeeds in making me feel like an even bigger idiot. Sometimes I wish I could just erase conversations from existence, because I'll randomly remember them months later and feel like an idiot all over again.

This is one of many reasons that I am becoming a hermit. I will soon have no one but my cat and my nook to keep me company.