Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Interesting Timing

The day after my husband left for boot camp was when I decided that I couldn't take it anymore. We had argued too much, he had done too much, and I found something out that day that threw me over the edge. I couldn't take any more lies or abuse. It was time to stand up and be strong.
Two months into his training was when he earned enough privileges to be able to make a new Facebook account. That's how we got in touch again. He had sent a message to me via Facebook. I was weak and unprepared, so I contacted him in return. I didn't want to go through all that divorce entailed, so I listened to all his reasons for not going through with it. He started to sway me, but his inconsistency was what held me to my decision. Although he said that he wanted to stay married, and that boot camp had taught him to be a better man and how to treat me better, his Facebook stated that it was time to move on. He put his marital status as single and said that he was looking for "dating" or "a relationship." While I was wavering on whether or not I would be cancelling the divorce, I told him that he should change the things on his profile if he was going to convince me that he wanted to be with me. He didn't.
It's now been six months since the blow that ultimately destroyed my marriage, and I've been unable to get papers served to my husband while he was at his military training. He comes home within the next couple of weeks, at which time I hope to finally get the process started.
Today I got yet another request from my husband to be his friend on Facebook. Apparently, it was today that he decided to use his Facebook to admit that he is, in fact, married. He apparently is no longer looking for a new relationship or even dating. His current status is a long spiel (with many mechanical errors) about making choices and God wanting His children to be happy.
I've always been very forgiving, often more so than is good for me. Because I've shared so much with him, I want very badly to forgive him. There's only one problem.
He still doesn't think he did anything wrong.

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