The first hearing was very interesting. I arrived at the courthouse, located the department where my hearing would be, and found my husband already waiting with his father. And his mother. And his aunt. As we were waiting in the hallway for the department doors to open, one of his cousins showed up. When we were let into the department, another aunt joined them, followed by another cousin. The second aunt ended up waiting in the hall the whole time because she had brought yet another of my husband's cousins who is only 15 and, because he is under 17, is not allowed to enter the actual courtroom. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't by myself. I brought my step-dad along because I know how my husband is and I expected his dad to be there. I felt it necessary to bring someone other than my lawyer to make sure that I wasn't followed to my car by statements of what a horrible person I am and how the divorce is all my fault. I just didn't expect this to be a whole family affair for him.
After the judge called our case, my lawyer and I sat on one end of the counsel table while my husband and his father sat on the other side. Did you read that right? Yes, my husband's father sat next to him at the counsel table as if he were his lawyer. When asked who he was, he said that he had been asked to represent my husband "pro per."When asked what in the world that meant, he acted like he couldn't hear until the question was repeated three or four times. Then he finally said, without repeating the term, that he was asked by my husband to help him out. He was told to sit down in the benches for those observing or awaiting their own hearing and to stop making an idiot out of himself. I might have added that last part.
The judge listened to my lawyer and to my husband and wanted us to negotiate with each other and reach an agreement without her help. We went outside to discuss. His family followed. They all waited on the other side of the hall...for the most part. Here's what happened (I was going to use color coding again, but it's not working for some reason):
Lawyer: If you don't mind, I'm going to sit down. I have a bad back and it's really hurting.
Idiot Husband: Please. Yes. Sit down. No problem.
L: Have a seat.
IH: Oh, I'd rather stand.
L: Well, I can't stand. I have a really bad back.
IH: Of course. Sit down.
L: I'd like you to sit down so we can talk.
IH: Oh, I know, but I just want to stand.
L: Fine. I'll stand.
IH: No, it's okay. You can sit down.
L: I really don't like the power struggle, so, if you're going to make an old lady with a bad back stand up, then I'll stand.
IH: Okay, I'll sit down.
L: Okay. Here's what we are going to offer.
Idiot Husband's Idiot Father: Excuse me. Can you explain--
L: I'm sorry. I'm trying to talk to this young man. I'm not talking to you.
IHIF: Well, I just want to know--
L: No. You are not his lawyer. I don't need to explain anything to you.
IHIF: Well, I'm helping--
L: No. He is representing himself. Please leave.
IHIF: I'm just standing here.
L: Sir, if you don't leave then I'm going to file a statement with the court that you are in contempt.
IHIF: Well, can't I stand here? Is this not a public place?
L: I'm not doing this.
So I followed her back into the courtroom where she filed a statement that said we were unable to reach an agreement because the family was trying to intervene. At the end of the day, the judgement was in my favor. However, before 24 hours had passed, an appeal was filed with the court. I would have to go back.
Oh man! My heart goes out to you. Why do they have to make this such a difficult affair for you. I am glad you seem to have a lawyer that has your best interest in mind by trying to get his family to back off and mind their own business. And how does harassing you about how the divorce is your fault going to change anything about what has already happened??!! These people have serious issues and I am sorry that you are caught in the middle of it. This is a situation that should only be between you and your husband and no one else! Keep hanging in there sister!!
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